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Attacks on books usually take a few provocative statements out of context, make leaps in logic the author never intended, and often try to extend the logic to points that are absurd, and I have no interest in doing that to Josh.But it’s fair to raise the question: what’s “responsible dating?Over the next week, two of my boys have birthdays that end in “teen.” Today, Jonah stepped fresh and eager into his thirteenth year. I feel like I finally understand why I had to go through the baby and toddler years: This is the reward. Our boys need to know what is absolutely ok, and what is absolutely not.Next Saturday, Josiah will swagger his way into fifteen. I mean, I love my kids at every stage, but certainly some years nearly killed me. So…I’ve been thinking a lot about these years–and how be the mom they need right now. Some days they just need to figure out what feels right. They may resist rules, but deep down they feel safe when there are clear-cut rules without exceptions. I’m not talking about phony, contrived encouragement ( Our kids are watching us.” How serious do you have to be about each other before you become “exclusive?

When one of my boys come out laughing and want me to watch a funny Vine or You Tube Video, I drop everything for it. They are going to mess up so much you’ll wonder where you went wrong. Consequences may be in order, but so is a whole lot of grace. Keep it relevant, and as brief as possible, but when you see them facing forks in the road, go ahead and speak some good solid words of advice to them. And the thing with parenting is–you’re never really sure when they’ll need you. I should add here that my husband and I are Christians, and our faith is woven into every item I listed above.

So I grew up with the mindset of viewing guys through the lens of marriage material.

When you’re in your early 20s and men are all over the place, it was easier than it is now, being 28 years old, single, a professional, not very experienced and facing family and community pressure on not being married…

Side note #1: As for us–**We have a rule of “clean” entertainment only. God’s love is our motivation, and that is the environment we have raised our kids in.

No swearing or Your teenage son will likely pull away from you physically, and that is normal, albeit painful. Though I did not go into that on each point, it is just a natural part of all we do. If you’ve invested in the early years, then the doors will be open and they will trust and respect you as teenagers too.

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